Puglife

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earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

meenah38d:

addressing the real issues

novium:

that lil bitch

fackingmoarkewkies:

fuckingrecipes:

SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP PUTTING ICE CUBES IN YOUR LEMONADE. YOU WANT FIX YOUR WATERY LEMONADE? ADMITTING THERE’S A PROBLEM IS THE FIRST STEP TO STOP BEING A PUSSY, AND MOVING ON TO BEING A MAJESTIC MOTHERFUCKER.
GET SOME FRUIT.
BLUEBERRIES, STRAWBERRIES, PEACHES, LEMONS, LIMES, FUCK I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE PAPAYA OR MANGO! GET YOUR ASS OUTSIDE AND PUNCH SOME BUSHES UNTIL IT CRIES FOR MERCY AND HANDS YOU YOUR GODDAMN FRUIT.
BERRIES YOU CAN JUST SHOVE INTO THE ICEBOX AND GO CONQUER A COUNTRY WHILE YOU WAIT A DAY FOR IT TO FREEZE.
PEACHES AND NECTARINES, FUCK, YOU CAN EAT THE DAMN SKIN ON THOSE! TAKE OUT THAT MACHETE YOU KEEP IN YOUR BACK POCKET, BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK KNOWS WHEN A DINOSAUR COULD COME KNOCKING AND MOTHERFUCKERS NEED TO BE PREPARED, THEN HACK THAT DELICIOUS MOTHERFUCKER INTO SLICES.

NOW PUT THOSE BEAUTIFUL FUCKERS IN YOUR FREEZER.
YOU’RE A CITRUS KINDA ASSHOLE?
TAKE THE SKIN OFF YOUR CITRUS AND RECYCLE THAT SHIT! SAVE THE WHALES, YOU HARCORE MOTHERFUCKER.
I BET YOU CAN SEE WHERE THIS IS GOING, WITH THE FREEZER.
FUCK.
WHEN YOUR FRUIT IS FROZEN, USE THEM INSTEAD OF ICE CUBES TO KEEP YOUR DRINK AS COLD AS A SNOWMAN’S FROSTY DICK, AND MAKE ALL YOUR FRIENDS OR MAYBE ONLY YOUR PETS SAY ‘WOW WHAT A CLASSY MOTHERFUCKER’
IF YOU’RE AN ALCOHOLIC TYPE OF SHITHEAD, YOU CAN PUT YOUR FROZEN-ASS FRUIT INTO RUM OR VODKA OR SOME SHIT.
NOT ONLY ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A COLD, FLAVORED DRINK, BUT YOU’LL GET YOUR DAILY SERVINGS OF FRUIT. YOU SNEAKY LITTLE HEALTH-CONSCIOUS ASSHOLE.
TASTES LIKE GODDAMN VICTORY, THAT’S WHAT.

Calm down, Karkat

my dog just whispered “waggie”

thatfunnyblog:

her face though she’s like “hahaha oops!”

sherlawkward:

jensensations:

care to try some Old Sport, old sport?

OH MY GOD I JUST SPIT EVERYWHERE

you-are-another-me:

“A friend took this pic in Arizona USA. The meteorologists don’t have a name for it. Seems to be high energy to be in a Rainbow and a tornado! ”